4.07 The Initiative
Forrest: How are you gonna learn anything if you keep doing schoolwork? Oh...Check her out. Is she hot, or is she hot?Riley: She's Buffy.
Forrest: Buffy? I like that. That girl's so hot, she's buffy.
Riley: It's her name, Forrest.
Forrest: You've established first contact? Excellent. What do you think of her?
Riley: I haven't really thought about what I think of her.
Forrest: A girl that cute in the face, and you form no opinion?
Riley: No, I mean, She's all right, I guess. She's just kind of... I don't know. Peculiar.
Forrest: Hi. Hey, graham, what do you think of the blonde chick? Mattressable, n'est pas? Riley's not down. Doesn't like her.
Riley: I don't dislike her. She just-- she never feels like she's really there when you talk to her. I like girls I can get a grip on.
Forrest: I bet you do.
Riley: Not that way. Just a little less ready for takeoff all the time. There's definitely something off about her.
Forrest: Ok, but you've got to admit she's a major league hottie.
Riley: Well, I'm not denying she's easy on the eyes. I'm just saying... Would you really want to go out with her?
Riley: So she says, "you teach human behavior. Maybe you ought to show some."
Forrest: Oh, you're lying. She says that to Walsh?
Riley: Hope to die.
Forrest: Doesn't lack for guts. You've got to give her that.
Riley: Yeah, but she's nuts.
Forrest: What's the scoop on Buffy Summers? Is she cool?
Parker: Buffy? Yeah, she's all right, I guess. I mean, kind of whiney.
Forrest: How's that?
Parker: Well, you know, clingy. I mean, we got a little physical-- Uh, well, fully physical, and then she's all over me, you know, like we're betrothed or something.
Forrest: No, but fun was had, yeah?
Parker: Oh, yeah. The word is stamina. I mean, definitely a bunny in the sack, but later on, well. You know the difference between a freshman girl and a toilet seat? A toilet seat doesn't follow you around after you use it.
*Riley hits Parker*
Riley: I hit him.
Forrest: What the hell for?
Riley: He--he was just being so crude.
Forrest: Please. You've heard me say much grosser things than that.
Riley: And most of those are about your own mother.
Forrest: What is it?
Riley: I just didn't like hearing him talk about Buffy that way. I think I... Well, I guess I like her.
Forrest: You're kind of like a moron.
Riley: So, you... You knew that I had feelings for her.
Forrest: Everybody knows, man. Oh, she's peculiar? Dead giveaway, buddy.
Riley: I'm always the last to know.
Forrest: So, whatcha gonna do?
Riley: Well, I guess I'm gonna go see a girl.
Riley: Right to the point, ok. I was thinking of asking out Buffy.
Willow: She's not here.
Riley: I know. See, I don't know that much about Buffy. But I'm interested in what she likes, and so far, well, the only thing that I know she likes is you.
Willow: What...what do you want me to do?
Riley: Just tell me something. Anything. Just give me a clue to... Just something that will start us talking, you know? I'm thinking that "how 'bout them broncos" won't really cut it.
Willow: Ok, say that I help, and you start a conversation. It goes great.
You like buffy, she likes you. You spend time together, feelings grow deeper, and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, And it feels like the whole world's made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow, mockery of the human condition.
Riley: Yep, that's the plan.
Riley: Oh. Look, if you want to tell me to go to hell, that's ok. Maybe this is the last thing you want to talk about. I just feel that, well, I've never courted anyone like Buffy before. I don't think I've ever met anyone like Buffy before.
Riley: All right. I guess I'm not gonna win, here. And I appreciate you wanting to protect your friend. I guess, uh, she kind of brings that out in people.
Willow: She likes cheese.
Riley: What? Well, I'm not saying it's the key to her heart, but Buffy... She likes cheese.
Riley: That's a start.
Willow: She has a stuffed piggy named Mr. Gordo, loves ice capades without the irony, and she's dragging me to this party tonight at Lowell house.
Riley: Oh, you're going? That's my house. I live there.
Willow: Well, it'll give you a chance to interact, but don't get fresh.
Riley: Fresh? I don't even know if we like each other yet. Hey, does she ever talk about me? Like, has she ever said...
Willow: Sorry.
Willow: Ok, she's wearing the halter top with sensible shoes. That means mostly dancing, light contact, But don't push your luck. Heavy conversation's out of the question.
Riley: So what do I do?
Willow: Ask her to dance.
Riley: Right. Dance. Wait. No.
Willow: What's the matter?
Riley: I can't dance.
Riley: Excuse me. Hi.
Buffy: Hi.
Riley: Um...Buffy...You do the reading on chapter 9?
Buffy: Uh-huh.
Riley: Wow. Some theories, huh? Cheese?
Buffy: Hey.
Riley: Um, Willow said to say that she took off. Oh, no, she's ok. Kind of blue, but she said not to worry.
Buffy: Thank you.
Riley: You know... I wanted to ask you something.
Buffy: Ask away.
Forrest: Denied.
Riley: It's not like she blew me off. She just left with another guy, that's all.
Forrest: We need you downstairs, anyway. You know, I hate to say it, but they're probably on their way to make crazy naked sex.
Riley: Is that necessary?
Riley: I like her.
Graham: I'm on your side, here.
Riley: I know you are, Graham.
Forrest: Dude, straight tip: I know girls.
Riley: Exactly! Girls, plural. I'm talkin' about one girl. One girl.
Riley: The problem is, what kind of girl is gonna go out with a guy who's acting all joe regular by day and then turns all demon-hunter by night?
Riley: Ah, damn.
Forrest: She's compromising the area. At least she's not making crazy, naked sex.
Riley: Told you. We gotta clear her outta there... fast.
Riley: You wanna use the girl I got a crush on as bait?
Forrest: I can tag a hostile at 50 yards.
Riley: Denied.
Forrest: She'd be safe the entire...
Riley: I said denied, agent.
Forrest: Did you just pull rank on me?
Riley: Do you have a problem with that?
Buffy: Riley! What are you doing here?
Riley: Well, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to you after the party. You left so fast. You know, with your friend... Who's a boy.
Buffy: Uh, Xander? He's not anyone that I... Want to talk about, right now. Um... You know, I don't want you taking this the wrong way... It's just, um... I need a little alone time now... Alone.
Riley: Why?
Buffy: I need space.
Riley: We're outdoors.
Buffy: Emotionally. I mean, emotionally...
Riley: You know, there's plenty of space back in your room why don't I take you? You wouldn't believe the weirdos out at this hour.
Buffy: Whoa! Ok... It's a free campus. Who died and made you John Wayne?
Riley: I'm just trying to help.
Buffy: You think I need help? Believe me, I don't. You know, if you were a real gentleman, then you would just leave. You would go far, far away, now! Shoo!
Riley: Are you drunk?
Buffy: Yes! Go and report me.
Riley: I'm taking you home. Come on.
Buffy: Oh, did you ever think maybe I'm gonna take you home, huh? What? You think that boys can take care of themselves and girls need help?
Riley: Yeah.
Buffy: That is so teutonic.
Riley: Look, Buffy, as long as you're out here, I'm staying.
Buffy: Well, as long as you're out here, I'm staying.
*scream*
Riley: Gotta go.
Buffy: See ya!
Riley: Hey.
Buffy: Hi.
Riley: Listen, sorry about last night.
Buffy: No, no... I was rude. I just felt like being alone. Sometimes it's nice to be out by yourself at night.
Riley: I hear that. Gotta be careful, though. Lotta strange... People out there.
Riley: That's right. I forgot you guys live in Stevenson.
Buffy: You knew that?
Riley: Well, Willow and I were... I thought she might be able to help me on a project.
Buffy: Really? That work out for you?
Riley: Don't know yet.
Buffy: Uh, last night... At the party, You wanted to tell me something?
Riley: Oh, yeah. Very important stuff. I don't remember any of it now. But you would have been fascinated, possibly even moved. Did Willow tell you I like cheese?
Buffy: You're a little peculiar.
Riley: I can live with that.