4.11 Doomed
Riley: What are you?Buffy: Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius. You?
Riley: Sorry. That came out a little blunter than I intended. - It’s just... you are amazing! Your speed, your strength.
Buffy: Also passionate, artistic and inquisitive. - Who are you?
Riley: You know who I am. The rest... what I do... I can’t tell you.
Buffy: You’re part of some military monster squad that captures - demons, vampires, probably have some official sounding euphemisms for them, - like unfriendlies or – non sapiens.
Riley: Hostile Sub Terrestrials.
Buffy: So you deliver these – HST’s to a bunch of lab coats, who perform experiments on them, which among other things turn some into harmless little bunnies. How am I doing so far?
Riley: A little too well.
Buffy: Meanwhile by day you pretend to be Riley Finn, corn-fed Iowa boy. Ever been to Iowa, Riley? God, if that’s even your name.
Riley: It is, born and raised. And hey! Bulletin: I’m not the only one who’s been a little less than honest here.
Buffy: I thought a professional demon chaser like yourself would have figured it out by now. - I’m the Slayer. Slay-er? - Chosen One. She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries? - You’re kidding. Ask around. Look it up: Slayer comma the.
Riley: And you fight demons. I mean, you waled on those guys.
Buffy: You did pretty well yourself.
Riley: But I’m a walking bruise today. You see me with my clothes off I look like... I mean... I have – bruises... I don’t see a scratch on you.
Buffy: You’re not looking hard enough.
Riley: I’m looking pretty hard.
Riley: So then... What do we do?
Buffy: I don’t know. - I just... I really thought that youwere a nice, normal guy.
Riley: I am a nice, normal guy.
Buffy: Maybe by this town’s standards but I’m not grading on a curve. I think we both need a little time to – process everything. Maybe then...
Riley: Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.
Riley: I’m just trying to – make up my mind about something. - Buffy, - she’s pretty cool, isn’t she?
Forrest: Yes already, she’s cool, she’s hot, she is tepid, she’s all temperature Buffy. Now can we concentrate on the game here?
Riley: Yeah, well, I’m no Slayer. Base one, this is lilac one.
Buffy: Lilac?
Riley: Confirmed sighting of an unidentified Sub-T. Mobilize patrol team for debriefing at 0800 hours.
Radio: Copy that.
Buffy: Very commandory – lilac not withstanding. What are you doing here?
Buffy: Riley, I just... can’t.
Riley: Can’t talk?
Buffy: Can’t any of it. - I can’t be with you. - It’s just a huge, black pit of a mistake and I can’t go there again.
Riley: Again? You’ve dated me before?
Buffy: No! Look I was involved... You don’t know what my life is like.
Riley: But I’m dying to find out.
Buffy: Dying being the operative word here. Okay, there is too much risk. There is too much... It’s just doomed! And I can’t do doomed again right now. Sorry.
Riley: I-I don’t understand where this is coming from. I know you like me. And it’s not like we don’t have anything in common.
Buffy: But that’s not enough.
Riley: Buffy, I’m thrown by this, I’m confused... - But I can feel my skin humming, my hands, my every inch of me. I’ve never been this excited about anybody before. I’m not trying to scare you, and I’m not going to force myself on you. But I’m, by God, not going to walk away because I think it might not work. I don’t know what’s happened in your past...
Riley: Right. I’m on it, too. It’s just - this thing, this you and me thing, it’s Stupid!
Buffy: I know. Which is why we can’t do it, the you and me thing.
Riley: No, I mean you’re stupid. I mean... – I don’t mean that. – No, I think maybe I do.
Buffy: Wow, with sweet talk like that, you’ll definitely melt my reservations.
Riley: Buffy, where is the bad here? It just turns out – we are even more well matched than we thought we were. I mean, you’re a – fry cook – and so am I!
Buffy: Yeah, but you’re an amateur – fry cook and I come form a long line of fry cooks that don’t live past 25.
Buffy: But this isn’t the kind of gig where you can just hang it up at the end of the night and snuggle with your honey.
Riley: But why? Why can’t it be?
Buffy: Because I’ve tried it, okay? And every time it just fell apart. And then I get sucked right back in to the Uber-evil.
Riley: Welcome to the story of the world. Things fall apart Buffy. And evil – it comes and goes. But the way people manage is, they don’t do it alone. They pull each other through. If you weren’t so self involved you’d see that.
Buffy: You have no idea what you’re talking about. You barely know me.
Riley: I know that it’s not just a job thing. I’m sure that there is some good looking guy that done you wrong in there, too. But mostly I think you want to stay down in that dark place because maybe it’s safer down there.
Buffy: You are so out of line.
Riley: No. See I don’t think so. Look, we have an opportunity here, you and me, and the fact that you’re to scared to even give it a try...
Buffy: Is my business. So why don’t you just leave me alone?
Riley: Fair enough.
Riley: This is so not good. Everybody knows about me. I’m finished. It’s the end of the world.
Buffy: No, it’s not. *kiss*